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| Everyday Magic - August 2007 |
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Isn’t it funny that you always forget everything you know when you are under pressure or things go a bit pear shaped? And you reach out for your old bad comforting habits instead? I had been persuaded by a friend to start doing some mediumship demonstrations again on “the platform” as they say, after a break of around 4 years. When I booked the date in with Pippa at Gather in Glasgow it was a nice and comfortable 6 weeks or so in the future so I felt quite happy about the whole thing. However the night in June soon snuck up on me and I found myself driving through to Glasgow in a complete state of panic. Did I do some breathing exercises to calm down? No. Did I use some Reiki or Sound techniques to centre myself? No. Did I call on my guides? No! I got myself in even more of a state by imagining all the things that could possibly go wrong and focusing on the fact that “I just don’t want to do this!”... When I arrived at Gather with 30 min to spare there were a few folks milling around outside so I decided it would be a good idea to go for a walk and get my head sorted out. So off I wandered down Byres Road all the while having an internal dialogue about why I shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be doing this, don’t want to be here, not good enough... I took a right turn and wandered along some quieter streets and continued my internal rants as I wandered.When I checked the time I only had 10min to get back and get ready! Ok, better keep walking, if I keep taking rights I’m bound to end up back on Byres Road. Hmmmmmmm, no that doesn’t seem to be working...where am I? Oh no! I don’t know where I am and I only have 5 min to get back to Gather! It is amazing how quickly my focus shifted from “I just don’t want to do this” to “I really want to do this - where the hell am I and how can I get back!”, I eventually came out on to a street I recognised and hurried back to the venue... The lovely 28 people who were patiently waiting in my unprepared space were eventually greeted by a flustered, sweaty and apologetic me 15 minutes later than scheduled. So, some of my worst thoughts had materialised - how’s that for the power of manifestation, but I managed to work my way through the session and keep it together whilst mentally kicking myself up the backside for being such an eejit. After the demonstration I was drained and shattered from the effort of focusing in on the connections with so much other energy flying about as well as extremely annoyed with myself. A few weeks and it was another mediumship event at Gather but a very different one this time. I spent the day relaxing and preparing, I arrived 30 min early and set up the space properly and took some quiet time to prepare myself and then, bang on time, we started. What a difference! Everything just flowed so smoothly and easily and the whole thing was a pleasure from beginning to end. So what do I take away from that? That we have the power to manifest our thoughts and effect our experience of our reality. That there is no point spending years learning tools and techniques for self development and empowerment and not actually remembering to use them. That sometimes you have to almost lose something before you appreciate what it is. That, and the realisation that I don’t know Glasgow half as well as I thought I did...
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